Monday, February 21, 2011

The smartphone test

My niece Christine is 11. A few weeks ago I told her about the smartphone test. I was honest with her. I told her that Apple has the hardest test going because they have the best phone. People who fail the Apple test can retake the easier Droid smartphone test, but that finding a place to take the Droid test is a little harder and often requires singing and dancing. To take the test, all an applicant need do at an Apple store is walk to the back wall and talk to one the hipster experts. They will issue the test if the think you are worthy. I’m building a list of questions for my niece so that she can practice. I remember a few of the question. I was hoping a few of my readers might remember a few too. I’d ask my sisters to help but they both failed the Apple test and now use Droids.


  1. How do you spell that big fat animal in Africa that sometimes kills people but does not eat them. You can find them in zoos all across America.
  2. What is the name of the thing that killed Frodo’s parents?
  3. What movie released in the last year will be considered a classic in ten yeas?
  4. Essay question: Explain why country music is popular.
  5. Essay question: Is it wrong to hate hipsters?
  6. What is the age of he earth: 3,000 years old, 4,000 years old, 10,000 years old, 4.7 million years old, 4 billion years old, 4.5 billion years old, or 10 billions years old?
  7. In Aeop’s the Ass and the Lion’s Skin, how did the lion die?
  8. Does America’s concept of freedom of speech apply if that speech is not written down? Would it matter if it were hand written or a computer print out?
  9. What is the most popular girl’s name in Alabama?
  10. Name America’s original 15 colonies.
  11. If people from America are called Americans, and people from France are called French, what country do Laplanders come from?
  12. If you had to kiss a frog to become rich, what type of frog should you kiss? Explain why kissing a frog is different than kissing a dog.

I really want to help my niece – If you can think of any questions that will help, add a comment.

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