Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I dream of Sandy Hook

I had a reoccurring dream about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting last night. I've had the dream perhaps 40 or 50 times since that horrible day. In the dream, I watch what I visualize as the shooting take place while I am a shade floating around the school. I try to warn people. I try save kids. I try to stop the shooter, who in my dream is a giant with a huge gun. All my efforts fail. Everybody dies. I grow frustrated and feel helpless.

I woke up from the dream at 3:00 am. My trusty dog Rufio was licking my face. I'm was hot and angry. I walked out to my back yard and spent 20 minutes looking up at the night sky before I could return to bed. I've done this so many times that it has become routine. Sandy Hook made an impression on me. The dream will be with me for a long time to come.

I am a responsible gun owner. I believe it is our right to own a gun, but I am not a member of the NRA, nor will I ever be. In fact, I do know how long I will continue to own a gun. I've come to the conclusion because of my dreams, that I am part of the problem. It is not because I own a gun, but because I don't do anything to confront the issue. I just carry one and let others fight the good fight. I think that I do this because the people who would fix the problem, scare me as much as the NRA. Why are we so polarized? 

I don't know how to fix this. Sandy Hook should not have happened. Teaching kids to duck and cover when there is an active shooter on campus or arming teachers, is focused on the wrong end of the problem. People like Adam Lanza should not own guns. Some types of guns should not be sold. Gun buy back programs, background checks, better registration systems… all of these things should be on the table. Yet the NRA fights them all and our political leaders cave to pressure. Instead of fixing the root of the problem, we instead teach children to hide from shooters. How does this solve the problem? During the next attack will fewer kids will be slaughtered?  I don't get it. Fuck the NRA.