Tuesday, August 14, 2012

A sexual abuse victim breaks my heart

I get an email or two each month from the victims of clergy sexual abuse. I normally do not post them on my blog because the conversations are private the victims do not want them in the public domain. I respect their wishes and do what I can to help them. The most common request is simply to read their stories or to thank me for caring enough to write about their abusers.

Pastor William Procanick was convicted of molesting a 7-year-old girl in 2008 and sentenced to three years in prison. He should be out prison by now. The mother of the victim was vilified by the members of Procanick’s church. The girl herself was attacked as part of a plot to extract money from the pastor and his church. I received emails and comments telling me I was an ass for covering the case. I never really doubted the abuse happened. In many cases I report on, pastors are opportunistic abusers. They pounce on children in need and especially those coming from questionable situations, like the victim in this case. Her mom was allegedly an addict and destitute. Plus, Procanick admitted to touching her.

The victim, now 12, posted on my blog this morning. She wonders why people, this would be people from the church, still do not believe she was abused. She was seven at the time of the abuse. It blows my mind that Christians would still support the pastor and accuse the child. It breaks my heart too. This is the unedited text of the victim’s post:

I am the one this happened to,I am 12 now and turning 13 this year.He what they call "molesting" did that to me. I DONT KNOW why someone in fact would make that up. If they helped my mother so much and all what some of you say why would she want me to make something so bad up about him to hurt him and his family?... I know him as Bill Procanick I remember his german sheperd Gewls I remember his other dog he got I was in his basment saidy when he got her I remember he had 3 daughters. I could tell you what his bedroom and house looked like.he lived down the road from me and me and my sister stayed there alot.YES they did help us alot but i would never lie about something so serious. Becuase it was true. Especially if i knew that it would hurt them and there family.They helped my mom alot but if that didnt happen what he did to me I wouldnt lie about it. At first I told my mom he didnt do anything I didnt know or understand what he did was wrong.But I told her what he did because she didnt stop asking me she noticed I acted diffrent around him and she was doing what any other mother would was questioning her daughter I started to have night mares also about him. I didnt understand why but that night I was having trouble sleeping I was in his bedroom infront of his bed laying on the floor.They had company so he was not with me my sister was in one of his daughters rooms . I went out where they where in the living room and told them i couldnt sleep they told me that he would come in a minute in fact he did not really in a minute maybe more then a minute and then he touched me ways he shouldn't have I dont think I should explain to you people what he did to me because thats not nessecary if you didnt witness it you cant say it didnt happen.I remember still to this day and in fact I do FORGIVE him but you can forgive but you could NEVER forget. It really hurts me to see that some people dont believe me and talk soo much crap about my mom like that is her business I dont get how that can have any reason for her to want me to make something so horrible up like seriously DUDE get a life and mind your business . You may ask why I am on this looking up him and reading these comment I still have the news paper with the artical somewhere in my house and I DONT know why I looked his name up and searched for him I guess I just wanted to know what people think of this and how they react .Well dont believe me whatever im not saying you have to im just saying I told the TRUTH! & Its pathetic that you people would think I would make something so serious up , it sucks because I always thought he was a good man . He ruined all the trust & faith me & my family put into him . Now because of that , I have trust issues . What he did may not seem true or serious to you guys but i'm scarred for the rest of my life because of what that man did to me . Even though my mother hasn't & doesn't always make the right choices shes the best mother she can be , her past is the past. You guys are just trying to find an excuse to why it was right for him to touch me . & it wasn't he got what he deserved & hopefully he learned from it. But you guys can think what you want he knows what he did was wrong & he confessed .

Life is real in my neighborhood. If it is not Christians giving me hell for writing about clergy sexual abuse, it’s victims asking for help. Please visit the post and drop a note of support for the victim.