I’ve always been a little Leary of Christian homeschooling movement. I had a willowy young girl living across the street from me a few years back. Her fundie parents homeschooled her and her younger brother. They used to play with my youngest son. It was always awkward. They could not watch TV, play video games, use a computer or read unapproved books. I remember her mother freaking out when she saw our library. The mother pleaded with me to keep the books away from her child. Of course, I let her read whatever she wanted to.
The girl was a maladjusted socially awkward mess. She did not know how to act around adults, nor did she relate to other children well. Neither of her parents had graduated from high school, yet they were arrogant enough to homeschool their children and attempted to tell me public schools will ruin my kids. I’ll make sure to send them a note after my son graduates from Berkeley…
I ran into the homeschooled girl a few years ago. She was living with foster parents. Her story was a sad one. Apparently, there had been some abuse and she was pulled from her home. She had not seen her bother in a long time. She was sad and more than a little odd. I felt sorry for her, but I had hope. She was attending public school.
The problem with homeschooling, besides the obvious lack of qualifications, is the lack of accountability and oversight. When my neighbors got into trouble with the local school district, they moved. After a few years of this, the damage to a child’s development is severe. When you add physical or sexual abuse to the mix, the damage can be far worse.
I got thinking about this because of pastor James Monson. He was arrested for allegedly molesting a 16-year-old girl that he helping to homeschool. I bet the sessions were private…
Monson faces charges of sex with a child and sexual exploitation by a therapist. The victim alleges she engaged in sex with the pastor. I’m sure she thought she was in love. Her mother brought the case to the police, but I’ve got to ask, “What were you thinking?”
James Monson is the pastor of Gaining Ground Community Church is Sparta, Wisconsin. Their website is down and their Facebook page is friendless.
Let me draw a picture for you. In a public school it is hard to abuse children. I say hard, but not impossible. Public schools have policy, oversight and witnesses working for them. It’s hard to abuse children in that scenario. Homeschools have none of that. If you are subbing in a pastor as a homeschool teacher, then you are turning you child over to an unsupervised adult male who thinks he’s a holy man. My blog is full of examples of holy men abusing children. By the way, these men are not holy; they are not men of God either. No, they are just men. Would you turn your 16-year-old daughter over to a man for private homeschooling? No reasonably cautious person would do so. How does it feel mother of the victim? You served your daughter up for the sexual pleasure of a pedophile pastor, She will carry the scars for life. And as a homeschooler… she might do so as a cashier in he local Wal-Mart.
Logging you in...
Baconsbud 96p · 684 weeks ago
Jack 119p · 684 weeks ago
deleted8470268 143p · 684 weeks ago
Anonymous · 684 weeks ago
I'll leave it at this
Jackie · 684 weeks ago
I try not to make assumptions about those who choose to homeschool, those who opt for public school, those who opt for private school, those who opt to educate their children from Biblical worldview, those who opt to educate their children from a secular worldview, and those who make rash judgement based on their own opinions and feelings.
Your comment box asked me to split my comment into two comments, so I will post the rest immediately after this one.
Jackie · 684 weeks ago
It is very, very easy to abuse children in public school. Do you read the newspapers? There are reports about it all the time. I've witnessed it first hand several times. "Policy" and "Oversight" look on paper, but mean nothing in reality. Wittnesses? There are not enough teachers, aides, staff... to be everywhere at all times.
Graduating has nothing to do with intelligence, the ability, convey ideas, knowing the learning style and needs of the child you teaching... Graduating from college with a degree doesn't mean you are a good teacher. I've worked with many excellent teachers and many poor ones.
Jackie · 684 weeks ago
You boldly state the girl was a "maladjusted socially mess" because she was homeschooled. That is your opinion. You do not know anything about the girl other than your biased observations. She might have asperbers, she might be ADD innattentive, she might be very shy, she might be behind in maturity, she might lean toward being more of a loner, OR she might be just fine the way she is.
Each state has rules and regulations about who can homeschol and how they must go about doing so. Accountability is built into the program despite what you think. Read past and current stats about homeschoolers and you will quickly find they are by far in the lead academically. Many colleges actually recruit homeschoolers because they know they are more focused and can handle what college throws at them.
I am sure you will disagree with my coments, so I invite you to google the those areas in which we differ.
Tracy · 684 weeks ago
Each of my three daughters could have been a victim of this man. We have set rules that do not allow any of our daughters to go alone anywhere....with the exception of an occasional walk the overprotective dog. This mother has only one daughter.
Tracy · 684 weeks ago
For me, it is sad to hear. As a mom, I am thankfully that my daughters were not a victim. I am thankfully that as a team, my husband and I set up rules years ago that kept our daughters from being the victim. Finally, as mom's we don't get the option of reading the signs on the foreheads that says "This guy will rape your daughter." We are human and unfortunately sometimes trust leads to pain. It is not the fault of the mother, the friend, or the church. This man is human and he did something incredibly sinful. He will pay for this sin; not because man said so but because God said so.
Julia · 665 weeks ago
I confided to a relative about the abuse shortly after moving out of my parents' house, since I no longer had to fear retaliation since I was making my own living. She confided to a friend who said she wasn't surprised we were abused because, "...those kids look like robots!" It's true: a child whose spirit has been broken so terribly is afraid to feel. You have to make yourself into this numb unit that simply eats and drinks and breathes, but avoid emotional feelings in order to avoid more hideous unbearable pain. I have now found out my family was not seen in a very positive light by many relatives, friends, and other acquaintances. Apparently for decades many people thought our family acted weird, looked weird, and when they found out about the full-blown violence they weren't surprised.
It makes me incredibly bitter to be 28 years old and single, but look at Facebook and see my ex college classmates who are 1-2 years younger than I am, but are married with one or two children. Most of them met their husbands in high school, and the few who met someone later, it was due to social skills they acquired from having a decent upbringing. They are good strong Christian women and I would almost bet my life were virgins when they married. It is amusing the putrid self-righteous lie of claiming to homeschool for moral reasons, when what happened in my family and others like me is we were driven to do the exact opposite of moral.
After escaping from my parents' oppressive home, I eloped with somebody who turned out to be a deceiving predator and he kicked me to the curb shortly after. Do you think my parents were upset about the mistake but are glad I'm out of a negative situation? Consider this: my sister is married (she was fixed-up with her husband by the relative I confided the abuse to) and my family allowed her to exclude me from her bridal party. I promise this was NOT a case of "oh it was her day so they allowed her to do as she pleased" oh no, my father was constantly on this self-righteous mission to make sure no one excluded anybody when we were growing up, to the point he would insult a kid for "planning" to exclude another before they even did anything. It is a fact that my father not uttering a word to my sister that she was going to hurt me was just a way to dig the knife in the wound and cause me more pain in addition to the pain my ex-husband caused me.
Darren · 664 weeks ago
I actually married her because she was homeschooled because I believed that homeschooling was the best way to raise godly kids and at the time I knew nothing about the abuse that she experienced. Gradually she shared with me the pain that she endured.
Darren · 664 weeks ago
My wife is now almost finished with an education degree because she wants to teach special education. She wants to be part of a system that has done wonders for our own special needs child. She is also very active in trying to bring light to the abuse that takes place in many "christian" homeschooling homes.
joy · 568 weeks ago