Friday, June 18, 2010

The things I cannot do

I called our family pastor today. I asked him to come to the hospital and pray with my family. I do not consider this an odd request. Most of my extended family are Christians and with my dad near death, it was time to gather the family in prayer. Our family pastor is one of my best friends. I’ve known him for years. My family trusts him and at a time like this, you call people you trust.

Pastor Brad prayed for my dad. The room prayed with him. I watched. I always watch. Something deep inside me knows that I am not the guy who can offer spiritual comfort nor can I partake of it. I don’t understand it. I simply watch. After I hugged my wife. She provides all the comfort I need.

I called Pastor Brad during the 3rd quarter of game 7 of the NBA playoffs. I asked him to come, he did without any hesitation. He is a good man. I owe him. Next Saturday at sunrise I will play a round of discgolf with him. I intend to let him win.

I’m asked frequently about how I feel about prayer. My response is always the same. Prayer is something Christians do. I don’t think about it much. If I am in a situation where prayer is necessary, I choose respectful silence. It goes along with my live and let live philosophy. I don’t care about what other people do as long as the don’t compel me to participate or try to legislate their beliefs.

I don’t believe prayer delivers miracles, but I’ve witnessed it providing comfort to people overcome by grief or facing death. Tonight, I watched my dad agree to pastor Brad’s request for prayer. During the prayer, I saw a smile come to his lips and the tension leave his face. It was one of his last moments of consciousness. Does prayer work? To be honest, I have to give a qualified yes. There is no metaphysical component to it. The words and the people who speak them provide comfort. Some people need that, some do not. Prayer does not comfort me.

It’s 1:15 am. My dad lingers on the edge of death. I’m writing a blog post.

Technorati Tags: ,

Comments (15)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
My thoughts are with you and your family this morning.
1 reply · active 771 weeks ago
Jack Worrall's avatar

Jack Worrall · 771 weeks ago

If you've not seen 'The Invention of Lying' I'd advise watching it because it brushes on this subject. The title of that movie makes my point sound harsher than it's intended to be...

It would have been easy for you to have prayed for your father to make him feel better. The fact that you didn't demonstrates your strength to him, something that I'm sure he acknowledged and made him proud.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
I understand, and thanks.
I'm sorry for the pain you and your family are going through. I attended mass for a friend and saw how much solace it brought her family, real or imaginary every little bit helps. I know what you are going through, I wish you strength to cope, my thoughts are with you and your family
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Jean-Marc B's avatar

Jean-Marc B · 771 weeks ago

Such a thoughtful and lovely post. My dad was a non believer also, as I am, and on his deathbed, we simply held his hands and even though he was in a morphine-induced coma, about one hour before he passed away he thanked us for being there. So my thoughts are with you (although I'm not sure if this has a metaphysical effect), but I wish you courage in these times.
1 reply · active 771 weeks ago
It sounds like we had the same experience. I am happy it is over. My dad passed yesterday. Thank you.
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I suspect this post wasn't an easy one to write, but I'm glad you did. What you said about not caring whether others pray until they try to compel you to do it through legislation captured my feelings on the subject quite well.
1 reply · active 771 weeks ago
Mojoey... we all share your anguish. I hope it helps in some way to know that.
1 reply · active 771 weeks ago
It does. Thank you.
Mojoey, my thoughts are with you and your family.

However, I take issue a bit with your statement that you are not the sort of guy who can offer spiritual comfort. Perhaps you can't "offer" spiritual comfort... at least not in any conventional sense... but I myself have nevertheless received what I would characterize as "spiritual comfort" from things you have said in the past. I found spiritual comfort in your honesty, your integrity, your eyes-widen-open-refusal-to-pretend way of seeing things, and in your humanity.

Wishing you a heart at peace in the days to come.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Thanks Christa - I appreciate your kind words
I'm very sorry. We lost a family member last week, and it's hard. It's good of you to be there with your family. They need you.

HJ

Post a new comment

Comments by