Wednesday, April 28, 2010

No seriously, get out of my face

It started with the church lady trying to get my attention in the driver’s side mirror. She was bobbing back and forth, hopping from foot-to-foot. It reminded me of my dog. I ignored her.

My boss asked another question, I could barely hear his voice. I replied while cupping my ear. It was hard to hear. My connection was bad.

I was concentrating intently, the call was important. I sensed movement to my left. I looked up and saw the church lady smiling outside my driver’s widow. She was all of a foot away. I mouthed the words “Piss off.” She stayed. I ignored her.

My call ended 3-minutes later. She was still there. I removed my ear buds and started the truck. She knocked on the window….

I must admit counting to ten crossed my mind. It was 8:45 am and I was already 6 calls into my day. I was sitting in the parking lot of a 7/11 after driving 2 hours across LA for a 9:00 am meeting. My coffee was cold, I was hungry, and I wanted nothing more than to turn on the tunes and get my head together before my first meeting of the day started. But no.. She knocked on my window again.

I rolled down my window. She immediately asked if I was OK. She was concerned. she said I looked like I was in pain, or in trouble, or in need of somebody to talk to. I asked, “What do you want?”

I want to share to love of Jesus with you. With Jesus, all your pain will be…” I stopped her. “Unless he can make a crapload of work go away, I’m not interested.”

She tried to hand me a pamphlet.  I stopped her again. She started talking again, this time more urgently, “Sir, you need to hear this. It could change your life!” My response was terse, “No Seriously, get out of my face.”

I backed out of the parking stall. She walked along beside me while trying to hand me a bible tract. I rolled up my window before she could drop it on me. As I pull away, I see her approach another loner in the parking lot. I watch as she starts to hop from foot-to-foot, her dance of seduction rebooting for another try. I sigh.

This was my second run-in with a proselytizing Christian in 24-hours. The day before a man had tried to tell me God had arranged for him to talk to me because I was obviously in pain. I’m not even going into that one. It was insane.

I’m sick of this shit.

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