I was eating a late dinner of sushi with a few coworkers last week out in Newbury Park. Somewhere between noshing a spicy tuna roll and ogling the young cacuasin/asian hostess, I dropped an f-bomb. It was innocent male to male banter. We were discussing a friend's plan to lose weight though liposuction. A few jokes passed between us. We laughed at the stupidity of the idea. Of course, i had to add, "Plus, it looks like somebody beat the fuck out of you.", when talking about the aftermath of the procedure.
I could have said "beat the stuffing" or some other innocuous word. But why do that when a well timed f-bomb can make the same point?
As I uttered the phase, I heard a sharp intake of breath near my left ear. I turned and found a small boy aged eight or nine sanding at my elbow. We was leaving the table next to mine after having finished a meal of chicken fingers. His brown hair and blue eyes were offset by the perfect circle of his lips. it was like he was about to say "oh". His eyes told me he had run into the bogie man. I quickly reached out for his shoulder and then looked into his eyes and apologized. He cringed. I looked towards his father and apologized again. The moment passed when his father said "It's ok son. the man apologized". They moved away quickly. The boy turning an arc that kept him facing me for as long as possible. There was no way he was going to let the bogie man get the jump on him.
As the boy walked away I heard him say "Nice people don't say that word, right daddy?" My head hit the table. My face burned red. I could not speak. What kind of man was I? Cussing indiscriminately in front of a child was beneath me. I felt unclean. But the moment passed.
A few minutes later a smoking hot young woman walked by our table in a black miniskirt and with a light blue halter top. My friends and I followed her every move out through the tables to the front of the restaurant... and right into the arms of a boy who was pointing back at me. I saw him mouth the words "bad man". His father gave us all the evil eye. My head hit the table, My face burned red. I could not speak. I know what kind of man I am, and it's not a stereotypical cad. I can do better.