I thought Chuck Norris was dead. I was surprised to find that he still lived. I even jumped out to Wikipedia to make sure he was still with us. You see, good old Chuck Norris wants to tattoo a flag with the words "In God we Trust" on my forehead. And yes, I realize he is trying to be funny while saying "screw you" to the atheist community. I don't like being screwed.
I thought Chuck Norris was dead. I wanted him to be dead. Not as in I want him to die. It is more like, if he were dead, I could tell this story I have about him without fear of getting sued.
You see, my grandfather owned a Shell service station on the corner of Atlantic and Rosecrans in beautiful Compton California. It was a less successful time for Chuck, back in the late 60's and early 70's before he had fame and money. Chuck Norris was on my Grandfather's shit list. Apparently, they had some dispute... I was told to to never sell him gas.
I'll tell the whole story at some point. For now, I will settle for a complete and total boycott of Chuck Norris. With the notable exception of any movie he appears in where Bruce lee kicks his ass.
Hat tip The Serenity of Reason.
4 comments:
Boycotting him shouldn't be too hard. He hasn't done anything since that Bruce Lee film worth watching. Still, I'd rather boycott his crazy belief system than the person.
You have a point. What has Chuck Norris done that I watch anyway? I already boycott his belief system, so maybe I will just start a "how stupid is Chuck Norris" section to my blog.
Sigh.. why is it that some of those people you just love to see in those cheesy movies that they end up being so fundamentally idiotic when it comes to religion.. well never mind... don't answer that...
I can't wait to here this story. :Þ
Man, how much do I love Return of the Dragon? A lot, that's how much. I cheer every time I watch Bruce kick Chuck three times in rapid succession right in his mouth.
Go Bruce.
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