Saturday, May 12, 2007

Top Ten - Number three

I've known of the Dave Matthews Band since they hit the music scene in the mid 90s. I say I have "known of them" because their music did not make it into my rotation until later in my life. Now DMB occupies a very important part of my musical life. I play them when I am stressed. My ipod has playlist called nostress - it is all DMB.

 Gray Street off Busted Stuff, is my favorite song - but I can name a dozen more I like almost as much, like When the World Ends, or Stay, or Dancing Nancies.

She says, “I pray But they fall on deaf ears,

Am I supposed to take it on myself?

To get out of this place”  - Gray Street.

Why? (besides Dave Matthews being an atheist?)

I met an extraordinary man a few years ago. He took a difficult job working for me in Tucson. Over time we became friends. Now I think of him as one of my closest friends. I only have a few close friends. I tend to guard them carefully.

My friend  introduced me to the Dave Matthews Band. He gave me Everyday as a gift one day. I've been hooked ever since. But this post is not so much about DMB as it is about friendship.

My friend was with me the day I experienced a significant professional failure. A promotion I had worked long and hard for was taken away at the last moment for dubious reasons. I was devastated.

We sat together in a second floor office. My friend sat to my left. DMB issued from his laptop. I cannot remember the song. I cannot remember how long we sat there - it was a long time. I can remember my friend sitting with me the whole time.

We looked out over the desert together. He said a few kinds words which I will keep for myself.  It was a long painful moment I will never forget, reinforced by the music and lyrics of an extraordinary band. I can close my eyes and tell you everything about the office we were sitting in that day, everything about the weather, about how the sun looked when it reflected off the windows, and how it felt to know the office was rejoicing in my failure.

I eventually regained my composure, turned in my resignation, and left for the airport. It is weird the way things work out. The President of my company at the time was a man I did not like. He would not accept my resignation. He eventually convinced me to stay on in a slightly different capacity. The promotion I had worked so hard for went to another much less qualified candidate. My company was eventually merged with another - I realize now that I would have lost my job in the aftermath of the merger if I had been promoted, and it would not have been pretty. Things tend to work out.

My friend has moved on to bigger and better things. We stay in touch. Music is one of the many connections which binds us together, that and a maniacal focus on holding high score at Tower Defense. As I write this he has posted a 6,984 to beat my 6,809. I have some work to do.