A man lied to me today. It was a blatant, calculated, hateful lie. A lie so transparent, so egregious, so outrageous that the shear nerve of the person flabbergasted me. In my younger days I would have aggressively confronted the lie. This is not the case today. I understanding the nature of lying much better than I did in my youth. I waited...
I try hard not to lie myself. I slip from time-to-time. I think everyone does. I slipped today - I boasted about my skills at a game I enjoy, and lied in the process. It bothered me so much that I had to correct the situation. And there is my problem. I try not to lie. I feel horrible if I do. I normally correct the situation, even if it means loosing face. It is hard for me to let a lie pass.
The person who lied to me today feels no moral obligation to the truth. I have heard him tout his Christianity many times, yet it did not seem to matter today. I think it is called situational ethics (or situational Christianity). Whatever it is, It pisses me off.
The lie was deliberate. The intent was to harm the reputation of another person. I was deeply offended because I knew the truth to be something altogether different. Honor dictates that I do something. The person harmed was my friend.
I spoke to the liar in private. My message was direct. I told him that I was aware of falsehood which he had spoken earlier in the day. I told him I would be speaking victim later in the day. I gave the liar an opportunity to make amends before I took action. He did.
I wrote the liars name in my little brown book with a reference to never trust him again. And so it goes... I made an enemy today. I protected a friend in the process. It was good day.
4 comments:
Good work, Mojoey.
Who cares about enemies such as them?
Collect 'em like trophy's.
Carolyn Ann
Good job! I feel the same as you do about lying. I feel soooo guilty if I even embellish on something trivial, such as a video game.(smile)
I don't want to come off as rude or anything, I love your posts and site, but the black background really screws up my eyes...sorry.After I read a post I see dark lines on my keyboard, does anyone else have this problem or do I need to get my eyes checked??(smile) Anyway, keep up the good work.
I have a very similar position on truth. When I was a teenager I read Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. Heinlein had invented (to my knowledge) the idea of an ultimate truth-teller, that acted kind of like a public official, kind of like a notary public's role. They were trained for performing in witness stands, etc.
Anyway, the point was that they would only tell the exact truth, only as they could see it. For instance, when one character gestured to a truth-teller and asked, "The neighbors recently painted their house, what color is it now?" The answer was, "This side is blue." Because the truth-teller couldn't account for anything other than the one side she could observe.
This might be extreme compared to what is socially reasonable for honest, but it made a profound impact on me. To this day I strive for that level of honesty.
Good for you.
My mother instilled the love of the truth into me. Forcibly, unfortunately. But I appreciate her point if not her method. Which is, if you can't believe what someone tells you because sometimes they lie, you can have no relationship with that person. You can forgive them, but they've always got that little asterisk by their name.
Lying with intent to hurt someone else (or to make yourself look better by making someone else look worse) is really rotten.
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