Monday, March 22, 2010

A visit to Tong Li

I became a tourist attraction in the Suzhou area ancient town of Tong Li, which is known as the Venice of the east. The town has a history covering 1000 years. I can testify to this because I visited Tong Li's History of Sex museum and wondered at their magnificent ancient phallus collection. It was uplifting…

I sat in a boat for a tour of the canals. I've described it like visiting Disneyland's It's a Small World only the dolls have cameras and chase you along the canals taking your picture. I attracted an enormous amount of attention. Just call me Joe Buddha from here on out. Everyone was calling me the smiling Buddha or just Buddha or simply pointing and saying the Chinese equivalent of golly gee wilikers. It got to where I was asked to wave for the cameras as I rode along in the boat. I was the attraction. Never mind the 1000 year old city passing by behind me. The Chinese yokes wanted Mojoey. When the boat ride ended, I was cornered by school children asking for pictures.

I'd love to go back, but only like Michael Jackson did when visiting Disneyland. He went after hours and had the whole park to himself. I did not enjoy my visit. I highly recommend it for anyone who is normal sized, has dark hair and does not have a beard. Since I have all three, there is no way to simply enjoy the scenery without being mobbed. Of course, visiting the History of Sex Museum did not help my cause. Now they all think I'm a big fat fair haired and bearded sex fiend.

Good times… Remind me to post about Chinese karaoke bars. I thought I had entered the twilight zone.

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