Friday, September 25, 2009

You should go to a white church

I’m off today. I have vacation planned each of the next nine Fridays. I played a solo round of disc golf this morning to start my day. I shot a –4 at El Dorado Park in Long Beach (a personal best). I felt like coffee after the game so I took my stinky self over to a Starbucks in Cerritos. While sitting outside by myself, I was interrupted by two young Koreans. They asked me if I knew where I was going when I died. Since I was in no mood for company let along Christian proselytizers, I simply said, “Leave me alone.”

The tall one said, “We love you and are concerned that you will go to hell if you do not repent.”

“I am an Atheist. Please leave me alone.”

“Oh, how horrible. You must know the lord Jesus or surly you will go to hell,” said the short one. 

I try a different tactic, “You guys are ruining my mood, would you mind?”

The short one offers, “Please accept this copy of the New Testament and these helpful pamphlets. They will tell you what to do to get to heaven.”

“I’m not interested. Please go away.” They move closer. I say, “I mean it, get the fuck away from me.”

I stand up at this point. I’m at least a foot taller than both of them, yet they stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me. I peg them as native Koreans. Americans would know better. They don’t know standing this close to me is making me uncomfortable and pissing me off. I let it go as I really am in no mood for company. As I walk away, the tall one says, “Please take this list of churches which are doctrinally sound. They accept white people. You would be comfortable there.”

I stop for second. “White people?” I ask in an incredulous voice.

“Our church is Korean only, we are affiliated with churches that accept other races,” said the short one.

I don’t know what to say at this point. I mumble, “No shit?”, then turn toward the parking lot at a brisk pace. I think I just encountered xenophobic Koreans who are to culturally illiterate to understand the political incorrectness of their words.  I’ll let the next guy punch them in the nose.