I am instantly skeptical of cases where men or women reach back into the 60s or 70s for tales of clergy sexual abuse. I think one reason is that I'm nearing 50 myself and think back to 1971 -72 through a fog of dim memories. I can remember where I lived and the names of my dogs (and sisters), but people are a blur, as are events. I remember things, but not enough to take to court. And proving abuse, or that I even played on Falcons baseball team… well, it don’t think it’s possible. So, it is hard for me to believe that a 40-year wait between an alleged crime and a memory is legitimate.
A John Doe is suing former pastor Jim Bourne for alleged sexual abuse that took place in 1971-72. Mr. Doe claims to have become aware of the abuse in 2007. Mr. Doe is afraid to use his real name. Please don’t tell me this is a case of recovered memories.
The incidents allegedly occurred “during functions in which Bourne had custody or control of the plaintiff in Bourne’s role as a pastor and authority figure.” The lawsuit’s claims include that the church provided training to Mr. Bourne; hired, supervised and paid assistants to Mr. Bourne; paid for trips and travel expenses incurred by Mr. Bourne; and empowered him to perform all duties of a pastor, including educational and tutorial services.
Don’t get me wrong, I detest these abuse pastors. They are blight on the human race. I am also a skeptic. After 40 years, what damage is there? How much is Mr. Doe fishing for? It simply feels wrong, or too late to be just. What do you think?
Logging you in...
Carolyn Ann · 843 weeks ago
I know who abused me - a neighbor, and a Boy Scout leader (not the same person, by the way)- but sue them? I could hardly prove I know them!
It's easier, 30+ years later, to acknowledge their role in my life, and move on. Yeah, they caused me more pain and harm than I would have had, if they hadn't abused me. I still get nightmares about the Boy Scout leader, and the neighbor. The movie the neighbor made of me is probably still out there, with a wider audience because of the Internet. (The "procurer" apologized to me, years later.) But at some point - you have to let go of the past, and simply acknowledge that it exists.
That's harder than might be supposed, so I understand the lawsuit. I just think a decent therapist would be better, and probably cheaper.
Jeez, I'd like to string child abusers up by the balls. But sometimes you just have to let it go. For your own sanity.
Carolyn Ann
PS My gender issues didn't happen because of the abuse; the abuse happened because of my gender issues. I believe it's called "dysphoria", these days.
Mojoey 107p · 843 weeks ago
Carolyn Ann · 843 weeks ago
Carolyn Ann
Carolyn Ann · 843 weeks ago
Thanks! :-)
Carolyn Ann
PS It only took me about, oh, 30 years...
saliental · 843 weeks ago
I rarely get patients who are faking abuse for secondary gain, and I can assure you that the difference is quickly obvious.
The gap between abuse and recovery of suppressed memories can indeed be 40 years -- or more. Interestingly, a group of Dutch survivors of concentration camps suddenly, simultaneously experienced a need to discuss their traumas 40 years after the event. I'm sure that we are all agreed that the holocaust actually happened.
The vast majority of patients who recover such memories never take their stories to the police or into a court room, often because they do not recover the memories until the abuser is *safely* dead.
When survivors recover repressed traumatic memories, they all (in my 20+ years of treating them) experience the memories very vividly -- as though the events are currently happening. It's called revivification, and it is painful to witness. It is undoubtedly much more painful to experience!
I can well understand that the lay public is not conversant with these phenomena, though they are well known in the psychiatric literature.
On the other hand, I consider it unconscionable that some psychiatrists and mental health workers *chose* to believe the testimony of defense lawyers over the testimony of their patients.
Before you chose to be skeptical of something outside your area of experience of expertise, it is wise to research what genuine experts say on the topic. Defense lawyers are not genuine experts, but they have been used to protect genuine abusers.