I attended the funeral of Miyeko Ishikawa yesterday. She was the mother of my one time friend Dale. I knew her as Mae. She was a gracious host and outstanding cook. On the first day of each new year, my friends would gather at her home to feast on Japanese delicacies prepared by her loving hands.
Mae was 88 when she passed. She lived a full and rich life. I recall her son telling me how his mother had met her husband while interned at Manzanar. Her husband was a locksmith. He would pick the locks so they could go on walks together. It was a sad tale.
Her funeral was conducted at a Lutheran church. As I listened to my wife sob as the pastor delivered the funeral liturgy, I felt my customary detachment. My mind wandered to how an Atheist's funeral would be conducted. Who would speak for the deceased when religion is removed? I did not have any answers. I'll have to ponder this some more- I sure don't want a church service when I die. But something is needed.
3 comments:
Actually, funerals are only for the living, if you think about it.
I hate it when someone from our family's older generation dies and a Southern Baptist minister is called to officiate. It suddenly becomes a revival, with him trying to save the souls of those sinners left behind rather than a celebration of a life and mourning for the days to come when the deceased will be missed.
The relatives are so indoctrinated to this proselytizing that they view it as normal and somehow comforting. When I die, I don't want a eulogy or a wake, and I and definitely don't want someone to preach, even though I won't be aware of it; yet if someone prays and it comforts them, so be it.
Those, like me, who find prayer a type of magical thinking can just rejoice about the good times, hopefully forgive me for the bad times, and remember that I no longer have to endure any more strife or pain.
I went to a relatives(by marriage)funeral and was kind of surprised that there were no priests or clergy of any sort. As I sat there, I started to realize that maybe her family didn't want a religious person speaking at her funeral. A lot of people chose to go to the podium and tell odd stories or about the time when her and her friends got drunk, etc. I was really impressed with the people who chose to go up there and talk of memories and not preaching. After the funeral we went to the grave site and still no clergy. We found out then that my husbands aunt was atheist. Wow! I attended an atheists funeral and wasn't even aware of it. But it was very unconventional and very laid back. I only heard one amen from her brother that was never around. I could of smacked him...not sure why.
My plan is to be cremated and have the family throw a going away party at the house. Friends and family can eat, drink and tell stories.
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