Thursday, February 15, 2007

The five weirdest patron saints

You may never guess the names behind these patron saints, so just give in and follow this link for the answers.

Who is the patron saint of coffee and coffeehouses?

Who is the patron saint of grave diggers?

Who is the patron saint of cooks and tanners?

Who is the patron saint of prostitutes?

Who is the patron saint of flowers?

Patron saints are yet another thing I don't understand about religion. Long dead losers and weirdo's are immortalized as "saints", who are then worshipped as demigods by the faithful.  I don't get it. Do I pray to the patron saint of prostitutes if I want to find a hooker or is it the hooker who prays if she wants to find a john?

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clare said...

-Hi brother Deep thoughts,

I found your blog this morning while searching for more info on my eight year old son's patron saint, St. Praetextus. This saint was killed while standing at the alter of the church celebrating Mass. He was stabbed in the heart and was able to finish the celebration , leaving us with his final words, " God has decreed that I must leave this world...and my blood is upon your head"

I think one of your inquiries was about the patron saint of tanners. I'm gonna take a stab at it and guess St. Lawrence who was burned alive and roasted on a spit to his death. It is said he would not renounce his belief in Jesus his Lord and told his executioners, "You can turn me over, I'm done on this side". Truly, he must have known WHO he was willing to die for.

The saints are no different that you or me, they are colorful, flawed, weak and in need of a hope in the things to come. When life sends us storms, we must know that we do not walk alone, Psalm 23.

I will leave you with a patron saint to contemplate. His name is Bartholemew Longo and he is the patron saint of the occult. He was raised in a loving christian home, fell into apathy in his youth, developed indifference , and finally, hostility to all things of God. He eventually became a "priest" in the church of satan. During one of his occult gatherings, the presence and reality of evil was revealed to him in such a supernatural way, dark spirits, screams and all...that such a fear overcame him, he lost him mind and was hospitalized for the next year or so.

The loving prayers of his family supported him and the good Lord began to reveal to this young Bart the real presence of Christ's love for him. He eventually entered an order of friars at the base of Pompei and took the name brother Rosario. He was able to speak first hand to others about the undeniable reality of God's personal and saving love for him, a God that walked with him through the valley of darkness.

Saints are inspirations, hero's to many, mere men who struggled, suffered, in all the trappings of humanity and found themselves truly refined in the fire of God's love, illuminating their lives with a pure light of love that testified to the God who made them out of this Love. For me, they are hope for growing and maturing in spirit and perservering in crushing trials. I do not worship them, as I do not worship Oprah, neither Bono or the late Pope John Paull himself.

I pray this has given you some deep thoughts. Truly, this is my first blog ever, I even had to make a page and write this again just to get it to you.

I know this world is dark and cynical at times, but there is a great light of truth, steaming down from heaven, which seeks to dwell and make home in your heart, the Lord himself.

May you see with your own eyes, and understand with your whole heart ....the Father's love for you.

Blessings on your day!
sister clare+
P.s Clare of Assissi is the patron saint of TV/communications and of the Addoration of the Lord

Adoro said...

You completely misunderstand the concept of Patron Saints.

Certainly you may call them "weirdos", but then again, that's how you classify anyone who believes in God, right? Fine.

We don't worship Saints. We honor them. Just as you probably honor your loved ones. I'm guessing you have photos around of family members and friends, and when you look at those photos, you (hopefully!) think fondly of them, remembering good things; those pictures point to something more than themselves, but also to what they represented to you. For example, you look at a pic of Uncle Joe, and remember the summer days at the lake where he taught you how to land a huge fish, and then fillet it. And so whenever you think of Uncle Joe, you remember fishing.

Saints are a lot like that; in their lives, they lived something out. They are people who lived heroic virtue, who refused to deny what they believed in, willing to die rather than renege on a deeply held belief in God.

They held probably more deeply to their belief IN God than you do to your belief that there isn't one. And there is a paradox; you and the Saints are exactly alike. Neither of you want to harm anyone else, you only want the freedom to live out your convictions. But they had to die for theirs. And they went willingly. You will never have to worry about that choice.

Secondly, with regard to your tongue-in-cheek question...the Patron Saint of Prostitutes happens to be St. Nicholas. As the story goes, a poor family that had lost their mother to illness was dying of hunger. The father was about to resort to selling his daughters into prostitution, for the survival of them all. St. Nicholas gave the father the money to provide for his family, thus saving the girls from such a horrible life.

So those who want to escape prostitution, those who want to help people realize their true dignity doesn't lie between their legs...prays to St. Nicholas. If a john prays to find a hooker, he's NOT praying to a Saint, and if a hooker is praying to find johns...neither is she (or he!).

I'm sorry that you get off on making fun of other people's beliefs. I am a Catholic and love my faith, but have never found a reason to make fun of people who don't share the same beliefs.

You're just as sincere as I am. I fully believe that you're wrong, and will unapologetically pray for you, but I respect the fact you disagree.

Make fun of us as you wish. If it helps you...then go ahead. We can take it.

Mama Coyote said...

I needed this link, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Saints are people of great faith who deserve to be honored. We don't worship them,we love them, and we pray to them sometimes for help.They are like messengers to God, and they watch over those who need it. And I believe there is a Saint of Non-Believers, and he or she is probably watching over you right now. As for the Saint of Prostitutes, he was a great man. He worked a hard job, and then used almost all of his money buying prostitutes for enough that no one else could hire them. And then he taught them about God, and loved them in a fatherly way, and he helped them and they all became loving wives and mothers. You pray to him to help you stay pure, or resist tempation, or to help you deal if you have already lost your purity to some-one who took it by force, or even is you want to live a pure life and dont know how.

Morgan said...


I find it humorous how little you seem to know about patron saints and saints in general. Perhaps the reason you do not understand saints is because you haven't done research into the Church's purpose for them.

Saints are the holy and faithful who have lived before us, and can serve as a model for our lives. The faithful do NOT worship them as demigods. That is the furthest from the truth. Saints are those who we know for certain are in heaven for eternity with our Lord. They are NOT "Long dead losers and weirdo's", in fact, they are some of the most respectable individuals one could ever hear about.

I suggest the next time you write about Catholicism you do your research as to not sound so ignorant.


Mojoey said...

Morgan. Here is what I do know. There is no heaven. There is no hell. Sainthood was made up by men, just like God.

I use demigod in the context of hero. As in, the saints are heroes of the Catholic church. I know people pray to them and think they have some magic power or influence that will help with problems.

It's all BS. It's all made up. It's all very sad.

Morgan said...

Well that's very sad. I'll pray for you.

We pray to saints and ask them to pray for us. We do not believe they have "powers", rather because they are in heaven, they are closer to God than we are and therefore have more influence.

I feel very sorry for you and your lack of faith. May God bless you with His graces and understanding.

Meridian said...

it seems ''Morgan'' has missed the whole point. Its funny that st Nicholas is both the patron saint of children AND prostitutes. For an atheist or agnostic this is just humorous. Just like some westerners might think certain aspects of Hinduism or Buddhism (or ANY religion or belief) are slightly ironic and giggle-inducing.

I would also like to take this opportunity to concur with Majoey on the nonexistence of god.

zach said...

In one of your other posts about a boy shooting a shotgun into the ground near a Mosque, you commented that it sounds like a tea party person. I think it's just a dumb ass teenager myself. I assume you have never been to a tea party rally or even begin to know what they stand for. Once again, you show your prejudice tendencies. I mean, c'mon I didn't call you an atheistic, dirt-bag fool, did I????

Child of God said...

Pray to God directly.

Praying to a Saint to have that Saint pass your prayer on to God is like the game Broken Telephone, Grapevine, or Whisper Down the Lane.

If you believe in God and that we are children of God, we ourselves being his children have through God's grace and his compassion the most influence. Have faith to pray to God directly and not through an intermediary.

Anonymous said...

As a largely nonreligious person the issue I take with this, aside from the gross misunderstanding of the tradition of saints, is that this also hardly qualifies as a deep thought.

Mojoey said...

Nothing on my blog qualifies as deep thoughts. Read the FAQ.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should choose a different title then?... such as "Mojoey's uneducated, and impulsive thoughts"

Mojoey said...

Again - read the FAQ.

Misha-Chan said...

I think George Carlin said it best......

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

Anonymous said...

I am stuck here in Chicago, "left behind in Chicago". The women here are terrible, worst I've ever seen in North America. My marriage options, dating options are miserable. I thank god for the nice, loving responsible call girls I've met here this last year. Without the good call girls of Chicago I would have gone insane.

Isn't there a Catholic saint that honors and respects positive Prostitutes? St. Nicholas isn't right as he kept women out of this profession.