Friday, January 05, 2007

John Waxman likes to...

Let's just say John has needs 

John is a humble, homely, semi-literate 31-year-old virgin with healthy urges but no prospects. Due to his cultish fundamentalist upbringing, John is wracked with guilt every time he pumps the soap dispenser. John sent a letter, excerpted below, to A Woman’s Concern hoping for some understanding or absolution:

He turns to A Woman's Concern - we all know A Woman's Concern. It it the headquarters for far right anti-abortion activity. Eric Keroack, the new deputy assistant secretary for population affairs at the Department of Heath and Human Services, used to run A Woman's Concern. Keroack thinks contraception is demeaning to women. But what about masterbation? D.A. Kolodenko wants to know.

John, Masterbation is not mentioned specifically in the bible. I remember reading james dobson’s book as a teenager about puperty and reading his words that masterbation is not a big deal. There’s no clear cut do or not do. However Jesus does say that we as men should not lust because its like commiting adultry with a woman in our hearts. Lust comes down to this—an overwhelming desire for something sinfull. I think the question would be is it possible to masterbait and not lust? … I think Satan will do everything he can to get you to act out sexually before your married and then everything he can to get you not to have sex with your wife after Marriage…. I can’t tell you where the line is between exploration and habit obsession. —Nathaniel.

Source: San Diego Citybeat - A man's concern, by D.A. Kolodenko

(Nathaniel needs to use spell check.)

So, no abortion, no birth control, no masterbation... I am pretty sure Bush made the wrong decision putting Eric Keoack in charge of anything. He is out of touch with reality yet he is in charge of reproductive health care cervices to low income women.

 

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You might like to find a spell-checker as well

Mojoey said...

duh!

david alan said...

The poor spelling in the written response to my fake inquiry was a tongue-in-cheek response to my desperate character's own bad spelling.

Too bad the organization isn't equally skeptical of their own take on sexuality.

- d.a. kolodenko