Wednesday, October 13, 2004

And now for something completely different...

A funny thing happened while eating lunch today. I went to a steakhouse after the lunch rush for a good meal and to get some time to review for my economics midterm (which is tonight, and I’m totally stressed over it). I asked for a seat in the back of the restaurant in a quit section, the staff complied. Two pretty and young women were in the next both, one Asian, one white and blond. I watched as one of them, the Asian, got up from her side of the table and moved to sit next to the blond. I’m now looking at the back of two heads about four feet away and between both of them. It’s like I’m looking over both their shoulders, but from the middle instead of to the side. I’m watching because the whole exchange looks too intimate, like I’ve interrupted a lovers tiff or something, and I’m starting to feel that my quit spot is not so optimal. After a few minutes, the Asian woman pulls a simulated vagina from a bag and puts it on the table. I cannot believe what I’m seeing. I’m looking at the back of two very pretty heads and a vagina. The vagina is staring me right in the forehead. I can see right into the vagina all the way up to the uterus. I start to wonder, is this vagina sex toy? It is mounted as if it could be served for dinner. What the hell is going on?

About this time, my server interrupted to take my order. The exchange took a few minutes. When I looked up, the Asian girl had inserted her fingers into the vagina and was rotating her wrist and pointing to the blond girl to show her the technique. Now I’m thinking, “Ok, this is different, I’m watching two women "do" a vagina model over lunch, this is odd”. This goes on for a few minutes, the blond girl trades places with the Asian and moves up over the vagina to get better leverage, at one point her hand gets stuck and I witness the Asian pulling the model from the other side to help free the blongs hand. I’m choking back laughter, and not studying at all, even though I have my books in front of me. I can’t bring myself to say anything, the staff studiously ignores the situation as they deliver my lunch. The two vagina molesters never even glance my way.

Fully 15 minutes into this encounter, I see the Asian woman reach into a bag and pull out a medical instrument. It’s an IUD (I think). She shows the blond how to prep it, and then delivers the IUD into the uterus via the vaginal opening. They both clap and do a little back slapping before they start talking loudly about how to sell this process to doctors. I hear the Asian say “The male doctors are usually so embarrassed by this demonstration that they just come at you with a pen asking where to sign. Make sure and wear something shear and sexy.”

I eventually finish my meal, and then leave as quickly as I can. They repeated the process, including each of the women getting a hand stuck in the vagina. It was like watching a train wreck; I could not take my eyes off it. I’m going to fail my econ midterm for sure.


Alex said...

How has noone commented on this yet? I accidentally came across this, looking for an Arafat quote of all things. This is a RIOT.

Mojoey said...

It is just one of several thousand posts - I guess it got lost in the mix.