Deep Thoughts: You should go to a white church

Friday, September 25, 2009

You should go to a white church

I’m off today. I have vacation planned each of the next nine Fridays. I played a solo round of disc golf this morning to start my day. I shot a –4 at El Dorado Park in Long Beach (a personal best). I felt like coffee after the game so I took my stinky self over to a Starbucks in Cerritos. While sitting outside by myself, I was interrupted by two young Koreans. They asked me if I knew where I was going when I died. Since I was in no mood for company let along Christian proselytizers, I simply said, “Leave me alone.”

The tall one said, “We love you and are concerned that you will go to hell if you do not repent.”

“I am an Atheist. Please leave me alone.”

“Oh, how horrible. You must know the lord Jesus or surly you will go to hell,” said the short one.

I try a different tactic, “You guys are ruining my mood, would you mind?”

The short one offers, “Please accept this copy of the New Testament and these helpful pamphlets. They will tell you what to do to get to heaven.”

“I’m not interested. Please go away.” They move closer. I say, “I mean it, get the fuck away from me.”

I stand up at this point. I’m at least a foot taller than both of them, yet they stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me. I peg them as native Koreans. Americans would know better. They don’t know standing this close to me is making me uncomfortable and pissing me off. I let it go as I really am in no mood for company. As I walk away, the tall one says, “Please take this list of churches which are doctrinally sound. They accept white people. You would be comfortable there.”

I stop for second. “White people?” I ask in an incredulous voice.

“Our church is Korean only, we are affiliated with churches that accept other races,” said the short one.

I don’t know what to say at this point. I mumble, “No shit?”, then turn toward the parking lot at a brisk pace. I think I just encountered xenophobic Koreans who are to culturally illiterate to understand the political incorrectness of their words. I’ll let the next guy punch them in the nose.

Technorati Tags: Korean Christians,Proselytizing

Comments (18)

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Eric · 815 weeks ago

Again, I don't know anyone who gets talked to as much as you do. You must have an invisible target that attracts Christians.

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Jack 119p · 815 weeks ago

I have to admit being a bit surprised every time I read about this crap going on in California. I expect it in Mississippi, but it sounds like the West Coast has really gone downhill.

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Hank · 815 weeks ago

You could've really sown some confusion with (incrementally raising your voice as you go along) , "White person! What makes you think I'm a white person? WHO are you calling a white person? HOW DARE you call me a white person!!! ISN'T IT OBVIOUS what I am? Haven't you seen an Irish-Norwegian-German-Swede before? Fer cryin' out loud already."

Ditto on the Christian target comment. It's like you're a missionary magnet. Perhaps you have a "convert me" sign on your back? Or maybe god is trying to tell you something. HA! Sorry, I couldn't resist that one.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Mojoey 107p · 815 weeks ago

It has been my story for a long time. I'm gregarious and friendly. People talk to me. I can't tell you home many times my wife has asked either, "Do you know that guy?", or "how the hell do you know that guy?"

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The Nerd 63p · 815 weeks ago

Might I point out that they were trying to indicate "English-speaking", as their church services are held in the Korean language. They obviously had no idea how their statement would be interpreted.

2 replies · active 815 weeks ago

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Mojoey 107p · 815 weeks ago

Really? That could be an explanation, only their english was perfect
and that is not what the said.

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The Nerd 63p · 815 weeks ago

If their English is perfect, and I'm assuming they were US citizens, what makes them Korean?

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Amanda K. Campbell · 815 weeks ago

Wow....that's just all sorts of special. I hate it when people can't take the polite "no" for an answer. I sympathize, because I'm also one of those people that strangers always come up to. I've gotten very few proselytizers, thankfully!

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Baconsbud 96p · 815 weeks ago

Oh I would love to see the reactions of some of the people who live around me to their comment about they accept white at some of the churches. I wouldn't be that surprised if I heard whites around here say something like they allow a Koreans in these churches, since most of the churches around here are pretty much segregated. It is self segregation not forced other then maybe privately.

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john_poson26 93p · 815 weeks ago

This happens to me here in the northwest a lot as well. Every time I go downtown, if it’s not the evangelicals, it’s the Mormons, or the Jehovah’s witnesses – and all at the same time; the voices of the street-preachers, echoing, “Repent you sinners, for the end-time draws near.”

I believe they target me because I’m so tall (over six feet-six inches).

I guess they just like the tall ones?

1 reply · active 815 weeks ago

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Mojoey 107p · 815 weeks ago

We stand out in a crowd.

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1minion · 815 weeks ago

I see Mormons wandering around town once in a while but I live in an apartment building and nobody bothers buzzing. Although, when I first moved in, a couple Jehovah's Witness ladies buzzed me once, not realizing that whoever they did visit had moved away. I think all I said to them was that I wasn't interested and then they passed me an issue of Watchtower and went on their way. They never returned.

My mother used to make us hide in the hallway when those old girls came by. They'd check every door of our house before securing a magazine to the doorknob with a rubber band. Mom hated getting seen by them but for some reason she lacked the gumption to tell them to quit coming over. I think they finally did give up, though.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Mojoey 107p · 815 weeks ago

I think I've finally attained do not visit status with the Mormons. All it takes is a lot of complaining.

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TitforTat · 815 weeks ago

I invited a couple of Mormons in after a heavy night of drinking. They didnt come back. ;)

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dromedary hump · 815 weeks ago

Mojoey,

I am actually envious of you. I haven't been harassed by a religiously deluded nut ball in public my entire life...andI'm older than you.
The closest was the VP of Information Services at work about 15 years ago, who I told to shut the f up before I have HR discipline him for harassment.

I sort of feel like I'm missing out. So, here's the deal: for every proselytizing asshat you send my way I will pay you $5.00. I'll pay a bonus for "Moonies"

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